The House, work, vacation and RA

The House is steady but strong. Not a lot of work has been done on it for the last two weeks. Last weekend my sis in law and husband were in town and Z had a softball tourney. Also, there was a benefit Poker Run that my other sis in law put on and Skye participated in it. So...that's left little to no time to work on the house.
Skye's work told him he couldn't go on our yearly vacation to NC this year. So he planned on having a few great days to work on the house without us, and then work at his job too. At the literal last minute they called and said he was free to go. Reluctantly he packed his bags and came along with us...feeling torn between working on the house and some much needed family time. He chose the family time, because he knew you can't get it back!
Vacation to NC is an annual thing with our family as Skye's mother's parents live down here and we come to visit the fam and soak up the sun and waves. It's so great, I honestly love it down here. I think I could live down here for a time. The beauty is much greater than Ohio in my opinion. SO, thinking that we might not come due to Skye's vacation, sadden all of us. BUT alas, we are here, enjoying every rainy day! :)
Being here is hard tho. Seeing how my disease is deteriorating my body and making it hard for me to be the mom and wife I want to me just about kills my spirit. I don't talk about my RA because I don't want to be defined by it. I refuse to be Hannah, with RA...but it seems more and more it's winning and beating me down. It's so hard to sit back and watch other people play with my kids because I can't get down on the floor without a horrible fear of getting hurt, or worse hurting their little hearts because I'm hurt. I think that pains me more, when they accidentally hurt me and I cry, then they cry....break my heart.
I do no at all believe I have this disease because of my sins, or because I don't have God's protection, or because it's from the devil. I believe I have this disease because we live in a fallen world and the devil is out to kill, steal, and destroy. Because I trust in God, believe in God, and have given my life to Him does not make me immune to the horrors of this life. I just makes my reaction to them, and how I live my life give Glory to the one who made me. And, it draws me closer to Him because it focuses my mind on Him and not this world.
I will say this is not easy, it comes with many tears and lots of "get back up again's". But God is forever faithful, and that is what makes him awesome!