Thistles

Living out on the farm, I've experienced so much in the last months. It's funny to me, how so much of Farm life correlates with life with God. God uses so much in our daily lives to bring us closer to him, but sometimes we just don't see it.
The neighbors called our lane "Thistle Alley" with good reason. There are these giant thistles all over the place. The grow tall, with sharp "Leaves" and they really do hurt badly. But at the top, is this very pretty pink flower, that almost makes keeping them worthwhile. The stock is a vibrant green color. The roots are brittle and break easy, with one long root down the center. They are hard to pull out, you  have to dig them up. We've spent hours and hours digging up these plants to get rid of them.
The correlation: Sin, lies, deceit, is just like this thistle. It can be vibrant and produce pretty "flowers" so that it doesn't seem so bad, But, it's full of thorns that hurt badly and the roots are brittle and break easy. Sin has a promise of a beautiful ending: "The Flower", but everything else is painful and grows no roots to withstand any kind of pressure. The worst part, in order to get it out of your life, it's hard work, and you have to dig it up, and that is painful. So really, there is nothing great about sin, or thistles! They both grow fast, seem like a great thing, until the hurt and pain and digging up part.
Interesting how God does that...

Mowing...

I like mowing the grass. Since moving here to horse country, we have a couple acres to mow. I enjoy mowing because I turn on a podcast and listen. I live on Podcasts since we moved here. I discovered them before we left MD, and during the darkest days of my life, I've had the word of God spoken into my heart to keep my eyes focused on the Author and Finisher of my life. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have these few churches I follow speaking into my brain at certain times. I am so very greatful for them.
"When Darkenss Falls" by Louie Giglio from Passion City Church is by far the best sermon Ive ever heard in my life. I've listened to it more than a dozen times. Louie talks about a painful experience in his life, one he believes he will always have a "wound" from. I can totally understand that. See, we can keep walking through life, keep going, but it doesn't mean well ever fully recover from whatever happened. Maybe we'll be different, maybe our perspective will change, maybe we will be stronger in some areas, but to fully recover from something that rocked you, i'm not sure if you recover, or if you just learn to "walk with a limp".
I'm a passionate person, I feel everything. I take everything people say, stew over it, dissect it, apply it, think about it, pray about it. I remember certain things said to me so vividly, so much like a movie in my head. Sometimes I can't get that movie to quit playing. From there, I will spiral down and let the enemy beat me up so badly. I forget who I am in Christ. See, the world is not my home. I keep trying to make it here, to thrive here, to become happy here. But all that is a look, a perspective. I can be happy in the world, because I am happy in Christ. I can thrive here in this world, because I am thriving in Christ.
In my darkest times as a kid, I could crawl up on my Dad's lap and cry in his arms while he held me. I remember it strongly. As a wife, a grown woman, I've crawled up on my husbands arms and cried while he held me. The safety and comfort there is like no other place. But where do I go when I can't run there? Many, MANY times I've just curled up and cried, and in my mind I am in the arms of the Lord, for He is my comfort, my resting place, my safe place. He is my healer. He tells my soul to be still, to know that He is good, and he will protect me. I've played: "I lift my hand" by Chris Tomlin. He and Louie wrote this song. It was a song God gave Louie in the middle on the night when he couldn't sleep and worry and fret and fear would over take him. I can relate to this. Louie encourages to let God make a play list for you, so you can penetrate your spirit with worship. Because only worship will give you through the darkest moments in your life. God gave me a play list. I have it on my phone titled: Worship, and I listen to it near constantly.
When sadness comes, mercy should follow. Mercy is described as this:
compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.

Show mercy to people, show mercy to yourself. Because God is a God of mercy!!

Listen to these songs:
Mercy (The LIVE version) - Bethel Music
I lift my Hands- Chris Tomlin
Anchor (Live) - Bethel Music

2016...i think I skipped a couple years...

It's 2016! I can't believe that I haven't posted in about 2 years. How much life has been lived, and how much life has passed. The Story of Us has many more chapters in the book...more than I can blog about, that's for certain.
Most recently we've moved from Southern Maryland, where we called home for nearly 6 years, to Central Kentucky. Never really saw myself in KY, but then again, I never really made plans for my life either. Hubby got a job transfer here, and so far, so good. Life is slower here, quieter, simpler, and rural also. We live on a small hobby farm that we are slowly but surely making our own. That is my favorite part about life right now.
I can very easily lose myself and escape from my mind here. I get outside and walk the perimeter of our land and just let the world in my mind dissolve away. A couple weeks ago I purchased a few trees. Two Apple, two Peach and one Cherry, in honor of Hubby's Grandpa who passed away a in 2015. We've planted them all, and are on a weekly watering schedule as I have researched that the reason most trees die in the first 3 years is lack of water.
This weekend we mostly finished our "Crazy Coop" or chicken coop. The kids and I painted it one color for each of us, to symbol all our differences all together, working together to make a unit. It's fun and crazy. We purchased 13 chickens, 3 of which passed away before we got them into the coop. We have one little lady I've lovingly named "Feisty Pants" because shes so much smaller than all the other chickens and she gives them all heck when they heckle her. She's spunky and strong, even as a tiny bird. She's my favorite! They are all doing well out there, and were excited every time we see them as they are growing each day. It's pretty cool.
The garden will be planted this week. I'm overwhelmed at how little my seedling are not growing, but I'm sure once they are in a soil garden, they'll do much better. Its funny how we can be like those seedlings. Grow enough to survive, but not thrive. The right amount of nutrients in the soil, water, and sunlight is what helps growth...but if you don't get those things, growth doesn't occur. I feel like that is me. I'm always searching for something that will help me grow, but there's only One that can give me all that I need....and He is who I need to fill the holes in my heart with...Jesus Christ alone.
I recently lost a dear friend to me. She and I were the best of friends. I miss her near daily and I invested all of me into her. I think sometimes we forget that this world was never meant to fulfill us, as it is not our home. But sometimes we invest so much, we are deeply saddened when it's all taken away, forgetting we were created for a higher place. She was my bestie, and I miss her daily, daily!
The kiddos are growing like the weeds in the lawn that I can't keep up with. They are smart, funny, amazingly talented and learning more life lessons than I'd like them to for little people. My only hope is that one day, they'll see this as growth in character and not intentional hurt, as "No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening, it's painful! But afterwards there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." (Heb. 12:11) Moving, change, leaving loved ones, is like a wound that takes time to heal. I pray they will one day see that their father and I made mistakes, but did our best to be all that God has called us to be, knowing we aren't perfect. People say Kids are resilient, but I think kids learn to be resilient....as mine have had no choice! They are mostly Military Brats.
Here's a toast to 2016, even though it's May. May 2016 be a game changer. May KY be a game changer. May we look back on life and see how 2016, Ky, changed our lives for the better...that, this, is my constant prayer.