Mowing...

I like mowing the grass. Since moving here to horse country, we have a couple acres to mow. I enjoy mowing because I turn on a podcast and listen. I live on Podcasts since we moved here. I discovered them before we left MD, and during the darkest days of my life, I've had the word of God spoken into my heart to keep my eyes focused on the Author and Finisher of my life. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have these few churches I follow speaking into my brain at certain times. I am so very greatful for them.
"When Darkenss Falls" by Louie Giglio from Passion City Church is by far the best sermon Ive ever heard in my life. I've listened to it more than a dozen times. Louie talks about a painful experience in his life, one he believes he will always have a "wound" from. I can totally understand that. See, we can keep walking through life, keep going, but it doesn't mean well ever fully recover from whatever happened. Maybe we'll be different, maybe our perspective will change, maybe we will be stronger in some areas, but to fully recover from something that rocked you, i'm not sure if you recover, or if you just learn to "walk with a limp".
I'm a passionate person, I feel everything. I take everything people say, stew over it, dissect it, apply it, think about it, pray about it. I remember certain things said to me so vividly, so much like a movie in my head. Sometimes I can't get that movie to quit playing. From there, I will spiral down and let the enemy beat me up so badly. I forget who I am in Christ. See, the world is not my home. I keep trying to make it here, to thrive here, to become happy here. But all that is a look, a perspective. I can be happy in the world, because I am happy in Christ. I can thrive here in this world, because I am thriving in Christ.
In my darkest times as a kid, I could crawl up on my Dad's lap and cry in his arms while he held me. I remember it strongly. As a wife, a grown woman, I've crawled up on my husbands arms and cried while he held me. The safety and comfort there is like no other place. But where do I go when I can't run there? Many, MANY times I've just curled up and cried, and in my mind I am in the arms of the Lord, for He is my comfort, my resting place, my safe place. He is my healer. He tells my soul to be still, to know that He is good, and he will protect me. I've played: "I lift my hand" by Chris Tomlin. He and Louie wrote this song. It was a song God gave Louie in the middle on the night when he couldn't sleep and worry and fret and fear would over take him. I can relate to this. Louie encourages to let God make a play list for you, so you can penetrate your spirit with worship. Because only worship will give you through the darkest moments in your life. God gave me a play list. I have it on my phone titled: Worship, and I listen to it near constantly.
When sadness comes, mercy should follow. Mercy is described as this:
compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.

Show mercy to people, show mercy to yourself. Because God is a God of mercy!!

Listen to these songs:
Mercy (The LIVE version) - Bethel Music
I lift my Hands- Chris Tomlin
Anchor (Live) - Bethel Music