So many things...

In my opinion it isn't until you lose someone to you really realize how important they really were. I cherished my dad, respected him, was proud of him, and really enjoyed him. But it wasn't until he died that I really ached to be near him. There's so much I wish he was here to share with me. The house, the kids, softball, church, things on this property. I wish I could see his smile from the pride he had in me. I miss his big bear hugs when we would see each other. I will admit I get little comfort at the thought of him "still be with us" or he's "watching from heaven". In all honestly I'm pretty sure that he's more focused on his Lord than watching us...but that's my opinion.
It's the little things that I never want to forget. Example: while berry picking yesterday A says: "I bet God would really like these berries!"  She's so amazing!! My dad would LOVE that. Z was climbing a tree today and I know he would love her adventurous side. We found a road today and the kids were all giggled about it. Then J was covered from his knees down in mud and I was not happy about it, but Daddy would have laughed at him. It's things like this that are the joys in life that God wants us to focus on, relish, ad take joy in. I think until Daddy died I was completely caught up in the wrong ways of thinking. Depression and anxiety and stuff just don't matter. I tell Skye all the time "sell it all" when we start to focus on the wrong things.
The sky's out here in the evening are amazing. I really do try to just take a second to take it all in. Realize my blessings, how I deserve none of them, and how even in the hardest of times God just keeps blessing us over and  over again.
We just got back from a few days vacation, and I thoroughly enjoyed Skye's time off. We came home  to a water logged house, but even in that God is faithful because he sent Skye's cousin who came and is spending the whole weekend with us working away. They have all the joists done and the rim board around the outside put up. They are working on sheeting the 2nd floor when they rain started. speaking of rain, the kids and I were on the gator at my in-law when the rain started. It poured the whole way home, and the kids laughed and sing in the rain. I pray we are teaching them to be free spirits and ones who can roll with the punches, or rain drops!