I survived my negative thoughts.

I completely agree with this statement. There are people in this world who battle the thoughts in their mind more that we will ever know. Suicide rates are up. The thoughts plague them, and as much as people say suicide is selfish, I don't believe those people are trying to be selfish. They just can't see straight. They are blinded by their own thought that are pure hell for them. They feel like they are a burden, they suck the life out of people. They hurt people. If they could subtract themselves from the situation, the equation would be happier, less stress, less drama. They are trying to lesson the load, create peace, make the ones they love happy.
Those people completely do not think about the aftermath of their action. They are thinking the here and now...this minute. The pain hurts, they see no way out, they can't help whatever situation...it's bad, it's not getting better...if I was not here, life would be simpler, happier for those I love and adore. I want them to be happy... I can't help but think that if I was out of this equation...they would be.

THEY ARE SO WRONG! But they can't see it that way. They don't see the truth.

This world is not my home...heaven is my home. I am just passing though. These words by Bill Graham are so very true. When we can get to the place where our thoughts are focused on Christ, and his abounding love for us, this worlds worries will slip away.
When we lived in TX I was in a depression. There came a time when I realized that my life was wasting away while I was stuck in this concrete block called depression and I couldn't move...it was too hard, looked too hard, felt too hard. But a friend came along, she gave me hope...and I depended on her. She was going through her own struggles in life, but she made me a priority. She changed me. I am forever grateful for her.
These last few months of living here in MD I feel myself slipping back into that hole again. See, I've been here 2 times before, I know the warning signs...but fighting the battle in my mind is so much harder that just "doing". But in order to overcome, I MUST do. Fighting suicide and depression is something that I am two faced on. I know the reality of it, I know the struggle, I know the battle. But I also know the other side, the getting up, the fighting, the never quitting. And...the hardest part is deciding your going to fight the battle.

So...I say to you...depression and suicide are real. People aren't trying to be dramatic, or just get attention. It's real, it's hard, it's like asking an alcoholic to stop drinking. It's a fight, in you mind, minute by minute. It's True, it's reality for someone...and they just need that one friend...who loves them despite it all. Who will sit with them and laugh and call and text and email and just keep saying "I love you".
Remember this...it's being Jesus to someone.

Dedicated to Stephanie!