Almost Christmas!!

I love Christmas a lot. I love the lights, I love the tree hunting. I love the wrapping and the cookie baking. I love giving gifts although I wish my bank account loved it more than me, so it wouldn't matter what I spent. Oh well!!

Anyways...I love how Skye and I are really trying to teach the kiddos about the importance of our family, having a giving heart, tradition, love, being together, time spent...all the good things about the holidays. It makes me smile when we run to the store and the girls want to buy this for someone and that for someone else...makes my heart swell. Tonight we went to Flat Iron Farm. It's a place where the the kiddos can see lights, animals, and old fashion shops. It was GREAT!!! I LOVED IT!!!

I just don't think I could be happier. I am SO amazingly blessed with a loving husband, 3 beautiful-healthy kids and a warm house and bed to sleep in every night. Having great friends that I can bounce things off of, a great bible study, a patience pastor who answers my texts anytime of day and a loving God who is daily leading me in the direction HE wants me to go. Amazing how really Letting go, frees you of SO much.

I saw a great quote today. It really inspired me in the fact that sometimes the direction God leads you isn't always what you had planned, or what you wanted, but in the end you are thanking Him because really, it's where you want to be.

Rick Warren said, "The more God USES your life, the more you'll be misunderstood & misjudged. That's the price. Are u OK with that?”
Yes, I really am ok with it. I'm OK with living in Maryland, or California or Japan. Where ever God sends... I'm there. Because if being in Ohio ISN'T where God wants me, it's NOT where I want to be! Sometimes that is hard to understand, and it's sometime that has to be accepted, but when I look at what God had given us, I wouldn't want it ANY other way!! EVER!!

God is NOT a God of confusion. Having to "swallow" the diagnosis of RA has been a confusing one, and God is NOT a God of confusion. I think that if we are trying really hard to focus of God, turn towards him daily, diligently pray, it makes sense why I might be attacked. WHY would you the enemy attack you if you are not a threat?? So I just smile at this, knowing that I am alright with God, he is my provider, protector, and healer. I will not worried, or be afraid. I am happy, I am blessed.

When it's 5am or 3am or midnight and my little boy is crying, when he sees my face he calms, and smiles. WHO WOULDN'T FEEL COMPLETELY BLESSED??? I don't deserve all God has given me, but I will accept it while all the gratitude I have.

I have totally become a "Glass 1/2 FULL" person...because there could always be a different situation you'd have to walk though. I am blessed!

I'm SO excited!!

I have a friend whose son has GERD. Because of this problem he has a G-button. It's where they feed him from his belly because his belly is forever altered because of the GERD and surgeries. At this point on his belly he has a little "Patch" that goes between the belly and button. Anyways, my friend wants to donate these little patches to other families to help them because this "patch" has been a literal life saver for them. This is called "My Button Buddies". This lady makes these "Patches" and you can purchase them to Donate. BUT... I'm going to see if I can make some myself to help out so she can give them to the families at the hospital. I'm stoked!!! I love helping, I'm SO a behind the scenes kind-of gal!!

Check out the pages...let me know what you think!!!
MyButtonBuddies
Milo's Button Buddies

YAHOO!

Go figure, right??

I am 29 years old. I am happy, fun, creative, structured, and a bit goofy. I do all kinds of crazy thing with my kids, I am a proud stay at home mom, and dedicated wife and cheerleader to my ever so wonderful husband. But today, I can add to my resume, that I have RA. AKA Rheumatoid Arthritis

Don't want it, would LOVE to pretend that it's not there. But walking like I'm 90 and not being able to lift J out of his crib were two really loud clues that something was terribly wrong. So the diagnosis came, along with a few tears, and questions. How on earth am I going to be able to take care of my sweet babes when I can't button their pants or tie shoes or do their hair without extreme pain?? Guess God's just going to have to relieve himself a little more to me in the extremely near future.

Funny, I guess I had signs all along that something wasn't right. There are definitely ways of "coping" with the issue and ways to "help" it not progress quickly. I go back to the specialist in the middle of the month to get a "plan".

How do you take a "gift" like this that was given to you, and smile?? Good drugs always seem to help...but that's the last thing I want to do, is be on drugs the rest of my life. So...I'm off. Off to find the best way for me to beat this, the best way for me to function as a whole, and the best way for me to have 100% quality of life with holding my babies and helping them and teaching them...because they were gifts and I am NOT laying down and missing a day!

A long time comin'...

I haven't blogged in forever...literally. Seems like it was either 1 of 2 reasons not too...
1. I didn't know what to say.
2. J totally consumes me.

So, I'll give a little summery of life in the 3-Child fast lane.
J was born 10August. With a few minor problems finally fixed he's a growing (PRECIOUS) boy who is all smiles and the absolute JOY of his parents heart. NOTHING warms me more than when all my kiddos curl up on the couch (usually because the girls are fighting over who gets to hold him).

The Bug started PreK this year going 2 days a week. She totally proved me wrong by loving it, and is too cute when she wakes up knowing its a school day. Just pure Joy beams out of her. She's learning to write and I see how I haven't worked with her as much as the Oldest, Opps on my part, but She's so laid back she doesn't even mind. She's smart, funny and just beautiful inside and out.

The Princess (or so SHE thinks) is in Kindergarten this year...although the curriculum I purchased is 1st grade work. She's zooming through it and reading like a pro (in my opinion). She's amazing and although she's abit bored with homeschooling (because she's not constantly socializing) she's learning so much and I'm really enjoying it too.

We're finally getting on a schedule (after the last 12 weeks of chaos) and things seem to be calming down for us. All this just in time to load up the car and head to Ohio for a week. Parts of me what to just stay here in our routine, but mostly I want to introduce our little guy to the family. Another part of me doesn't want to go because that Void that is there will seem even larger now that J is here. How big is that elephant in the room?? Busting out the walls!!

The Hero of the house is doing great...he was recently the Site Lead while they were bringing in a new guy, and now he's training that guy (so to speak). We were blessed with him not having to deploy this December like (threatened) we were told. Thank you, God for things changing. We don't know when the next one is...but we have time on our hands right now.

After have J I recovered quickly and was feeling great...then all of a sudden I've started having pain, and a lot of it. I am trying to figure out what it is...who knows. I run my 1st 5k in a year next Saturday. Super excited about that!! I've also tackled the "cloth diapering" saga. We're doing very well there, and although we don't do it exclusively, everyone I don't put on his is one not in a landfill, so I feel great about that!!! I, myself, have only purchased 2 boxes of diapers since J's arrival! That's nice!!

That's us in a nutshell...maybe I'll remember to start this back up!

Welcome home, little guy!

After a long 9 months, and then an extra week and a day, Joshua finally decided to grace us with his marvelous presences. Oh, how wonderful that was! I had Joshua via Cesarean section on Tuesday. It was scheduled and the anticipation nearly drove me crazy, but the surgery went really well. The recovery has been difficult, but it was major surgery. Being home has been wonderful, and I've enjoyed being an entire family because missing the girls was driving me nuts!
Joshua is amazing and the girls are amazing with him. We all fight over who gets to hold him and I usually win, but nursing does win over "just wanting too". I love being a Mommy and I would never change my life for anything.
School starts next month. Allie goes to preK at the school Zoey went to last year, 2 days a week. Zoey will "go" to school only Thursdays and I will be homeschooling her for Kindergarten. I know that this will be a challenge, but I am glad that we decided because School has already started here and she would NOT get to know her baby brother much at all.
All in all, we are an extremely blessed family and I could NOT ask for more!

VBAC vs. Repeat C-Section

So, this is what is going on in our house and I'm positive Skye and my Mom and near (if not completely) tired of hearing me worry, fret, and constantly panic about this situation.
Here's the skinny... I had a C-Section with Zoey...big baby, 2 weeks late. I had a VBAC with Allie, average baby, 1 week early. These docs are not really interested in me VBAC-ing, but would rather do a repeat C-Section to "Get it overwith". I personally do not want to just "Get it overwith" by have major surgery. But, this little one had to come out at some point, and I have been given an ultimatum that if he does NOT come out by Tuesday the 10th at 1:45pm they will go in after him, via Repeat C-Section.
Oh how this upsets me. Mostly because I do not feel that I have all the facts to make the correct and informative decision. IF there was a medical reason to "Go in After Him" GO! I will not be someone who insist on MY way while the health and welfare of my child are in jeopardy. But...the longer he's inside, the bigger he goes, and despite my "pot-belly pig" ish figure, I do have a smaller frame and it may possibly be harder for him to come out. I don't know... I am not God.
My request.... please pray that before Tuesday at 1:45pm I go into labor myself, I have a safe, natural, "Free of any cutting" delivery. I do believe in the Power of God and his ability to make miracle happen. I also believe that I don't know all the answers and I may never know why things happen they way they do...so I need to be able to accept whatever happens because God does NOTHING to harm me. I just don't want another c-section.
Thank you!

Emotional Rollercoaster!!!

In the first part of Genesis 3:16 it says this:
"You will bear children with intense pain and suffering!"
HE WAS NOT KIDDING!!!
I haven't even HAD this baby yet, but I think God forgot to say something else...he forgot to all the EMOTIONS that go along with physical pain. Although I do agree that the intense feeling of the pain goes away, and that is why we have more than 1 child, I also think it's a smidgen unfair to completely erase the emotions. I think this time has been the hardest "Pre-delivery" emotions I've ever had. Sigh....deep breath!

Then...I look at these sweet girls. I watch them play together, laugh together, hug each other. I watch them feel safe with each other, and want to be around one another all the time. They are precious!

So... I'm trying to encourage myself that in the end, when it's all over, it'll be totally worth it...but right now, can someone knock me out until it's all over??

Over use..."I LOVE YOU!!"

I tell Skye all the time that he's a good man. I don't mean that to boost his ego, but to affirm him that he really is a good man, all around. Not trying to brag, but seriously we can look all around us and see how "bad" things can get, and because of the fact that things have never gotten "bad" for us, he is a good man. I trust him, I admire him, he is my world hero.
My point, I was talking to a friend of mine and I mentioned that Skye was still sleeping (night shift) and that I hadn't talked to him yet today, but that I assume he went to bed soon after he left me a message on facebook. She asked what he said and I just blew it off and said "Oh he said I love you." She was instantly in tears, said that was so precious, we are just so cute, that saying that is important and she hopes I know that. Well, I do, but I didn't realize how much it meant to her.
Skye and I have been together for almost 13 years (give or take a few months of childhood breakups). We started out as kids not knowing how a relationship really worked. We argued over unimportant stuff and because of being so young had a lot of outside involvement that was difficult for us to work though. When Skye decided to joining the AF it was the best decision for him, for me, and I truly believe it has been what made our marriage because the alone time of just me and Skye and God has amazingly made our marriage what it is today. We both believe that if we had stayed in Ohio around all our family, we wouldn't be where we are today.
Ok...back to my point, this hurt my heart. To have her cry over Skye telling me "I love you" which he does many times a day made me so sad. Skye and I joke that "I love you" isn't a strong enough phrase anymore...like it used to be. We've moved to to "I cherish you, and I'm loving you"...and action...not a statement. Loving You, is something I wake up every morning a do, not just state. I love him by supporting him, by serving him, by speaking kindly, being patience. All of which things I am not a pro...but a "work in progress".
I am NO therapist, but over the last year, I've done some major soul searching. I have come to 2 things that I used to do that could terribly hurt my marriage and seriously tired to change. #1, don't belittle. Making my husband look stupid does nothing. #2 saying Thank you. Even in the smallest, it's your job, kind of things...saying Thank you only helps.
There's a song that I am enjoying right now. It's a country song and I love the words.

Check them out:
Love Like Crazy...Lee Brice
They called him crazy when they started out
Said seventeen's too young to know what loves about
They've been together fifty-eight years now
That’s crazy

He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week
He bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street
Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed
Yeah that’s crazy

Just ask him how he did it; he'll say pull up a seat
It'll only take a minute, to tell you everything
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when he quit his job
Said them home computers, boy they'll never take off
He sold his one man shop to Microsoft
They paid like crazy

Just ask him how he made it
He'll tell you faith and sweat
And the heart of a faithful woman,
Who never let him forget

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get too old to call her baby
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when they started out
They've been together fifty-eight years now

Ain't that crazy?

My favorite line is: "Over Use 'I Love You'" That is SO true. You can NEVER say I love you enough...no matter what. It's always good for the soul and spoken sincerely and backed up with true actions, can always mend a hurt heart!

Pregnancy Urges

From what I read most women go through these pregnancy urges to "nest" or clean the entire house...make everything spotless and perfect. I can totally understand that, because a newborn will come into the house and say: "Gee Mom, why didn't you dust before you went to the hospital to have me!"
I have a pregnancy urge and I have to resist daily. I want to cut my hair!! Like Cut it OFF!! But then be like that doll where you can pump the arm and the hair comes right back out...and then another day shorten it! It's HOT here, and being outside is what I love to do, but sweating is NOT something I enjoy.
On the other hand, I am Super excited to meet this little guy. I have gone through all our stuff. ie: towels, wash cloths, sheets, blankets...it's amazing how much PINK stuff we have. I don't think he'll notice, just like if there is dust, but somehow I don't think that I would mind having a few "Blue" items. Guess I'll have to go and check that out.

Congrats!!!

Congrats to my sister and her family for the arrival on the NEWEST addition: Teryn Emma Halsey, yesterday!!! A sweet give from Heaven above!!

Allie's Song!

We visited a church this weekend that I really liked, and one of the things I enjoyed about it was that the kiddos stay with the Adults for Praise and Worship. We sang the song by Michael W. Smith, You are Holy/Prince of Peace. I am not sure if it was the first time Allie heard the song, but today, this is what I overheard her singing:

I will Love you, I will Love you.
I will Hug You, I will Hug you.
I will Kiss you, I will Kiss you...
All of my Days!

These are the correct lyrics:
I will follow(echo girls)
I will listen(echo girls)
I will love You(echo girls)
All of my days(echo girls)

In my opinion, either way works! :) I am sure God doesn't mind Allie's version! I think it's GREAT!!

Cars/Trucks/Transportation

This is the theme of the baby's room. Not Cars... as in "Cars" but as in trucks/tractors and transportation. We are very excited and loving the idea. Since we are renting this house, we don't want to paint so I found these stickers, that don't tear the paint off. Skye and I worked for a while putting them up, and I was overjoyed!! It looks great!!
Here is also a picture of the rocker/glider that Skye brought me for Mother's Days. Isn't he just wonderful!!

Graduation!

I will admit that at first I was a little put off by the thought of a "Graduation" picture from PreK. Mainly because I was not accepting of the fact that MY baby girl, MY Zoey would now be old enough to be graduated from a "Pre-School" to a real, true School. But, what the hay, the school was doing it so I got her all ready (she picked out her own outfit) and I sent her off with the usual words of every Mom..."Smile Pretty"!!
MY GOODNESS!!! Talk about tugging at your heart strings!!! This pictures is just wonderful and actually encourages me that so far, I have done well as a Mom and she will look just like this, only 13 years older as a senior in High School! She's amazing, and smart, and just wonderful ( and YES, I am 1000% bias). So, now, I am a fan, and I think she'll giggle when I post this picture on her graduation party day!

How you look at things...

Twice this week I have been reminded that life is about how you look at it. Someones ALWAYS has it worse, and someone always has it better. The first reminder was by my "cousin" who in her own blog wrote about complaining and how you should never complain, even about the weather. She was reminded of this and blogged about it. It touched me, greatly!! Sometimes if you just keep complaining, you will sink yourself to that level. For instance, if you complain about not accomplishing something, being a failure, you will fail, you won't accomplish. I do this ALL the time!! So, I'm going to STOP complaining, even about the LITTLEST things and focus on the positives!!! ALL OF THEM!
Secondly, I was reminding at Zoey's school today by her teacher about how special a time it is to be pregnant. About how special the kicks are, and the amazingly wonderful blessing it is to be able to carry a child. To be hand picked by God to be a parent of a child. So many times we can focus on the hard parts, the back aches, the swelling of ALL of you, the inability to roll or get up. I have never had a problem with swelling, but with this baby I have nearly constant back pain. But really, coming from an older (like 40's) woman who CAN'T have another baby, it is so true that you fondly remember the aches and pains and would take them again for the love of the entire package. So...No matter how uncomfortable I will be grateful because ONE day, I will NOT be able to do this.
Yet Again, I AM BLESSED!

Summer Pregnancy!

So...I forgot how the heat is even hotter when you are pregnant! We were outside today and wow...it was hot! I will not complain!! Girls are LOVING the new playset that Daddy has built for them, although I think MAYBE it might have been smarter to just make an A frame and just give them swings. THAT seems to be the ONLY thing they do! They are loving it though, so that is super nice.
I have washed all of the baby's clothes, now I need to put them away. His room is the "Catch-All" and has boxes and stuff just piled in there until we get the rest of the house in order, which we are doing very slowly! It's hard with Skye on the night shift...until June! Then we'll have him on Days for a few months!! Can you believe it??
Baby seems to be doing great! We are 27 weeks ( can't believe it ) tomorrow and seem to be doing well. He kicks low, and it's fun...a lot of fun. I think he likes Skye's voice, yes he can hear right now, because he ALWAYS kicks when he hears Skye's voice. It's so cool! Babycenter.com says that he's 14+ inches and 2 pounds! That is super neat! We go to doc on Wednesday.
All is well. Zoey has this last month of school and then she's officially a graduate of PreSchool. That's neat! They have a graduation, so I'll post pics then!

Music=Meaning

In my life, music totally speaks to every emotion I have. It has been a huge comfort in this last year. With Daddy dying, that has been a definite life changing event. There is one song that I can see him singing...truly, whole-hearted. I know he, as we all, have struggles in his life, and one of them was letting go of the past and mistakes he'd made...guess like Father like daughter! :)
This song by Third Day-Take it all...it has awesome lyrics about giving it all to Christ...giving everything, laying it truly down. I think he would have liked it.

All the promises I've broken,
All the times I've let You down,
You forgot them, but still I hold on to the pain that makes me drown,
But now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away.

Take it all,
Cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have, I can't make it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest
Here I am, all I have,
Take it all.

And all the roads that lie before me,
All the struggles I go through,
Every second I'm reminded that it all belongs to You,
Now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away.

Take it all,
Cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have, I can't make it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest
Here I am, all I have,
Take it all.

And ever since I died to myself,
You gave a better life to me,
I give You my finest moment,
I give You the last breath I breathe.

Take it all,
Cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have, I can't make it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest,

Take it all,
Cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have, I can't take it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest,
Here I am, all I have,
Take it all.

I definitely think the last part about "And ever since I died to myself, You gave a better life to me, I give You my finest moment, I give You the last breath I breathe." That...I totally see him doing/saying/feeling. Maybe even lying there on that bed the last moment...
Jesus, I did my best...take my ALL I AM...it's ALL because of you!

It still makes me SO sad that I wasn't there that day. That I had to say Goodbye sitting on the side of my bed, envisioning my mom's phone by his ear. Did he hear me...when I told him it was Ok...he could go...did he really HEAR those words out of my mouth. Did he take a sign of relief...did he stop worrying about us and walk towards God. Did he really wait to hear us ALL say Goodbye. I wish I could hold his hand. I wish I could dance with him one more time. To be hugged by him...see him smile at me and tell me how proud he is of me. To hear him laugh or say Hello when he answered the phone. To see him walk or remember how he loved Old Time Rock n' Roll. To see him Kiss my Mom, or hold the girls. To tell him about this new baby growing inside me and how God is making HIM strong and perfect. To see him waving goodbye on the front porch as we drove away...again. To eat a bowl of cereal with him on Sunday nights. To Hug him...and say I LOVE YOU, just ONE more time. All this is done in my mind...how I miss him.
If I have learn anything about this whole life altering experience, I have learned MORE about my Heavenly Father, through the passing of my Earthly Father. I just wish that ONE of them was physically here...so I could touch, see, hold.
One more thing...when thinking about Daddy, it doesn't feel like someone's kicked me with a boot in my chest anymore. I can at least breath again. I am thankful for that! Sometimes knowing that I'll see him again isn't comfort enough. But if it's what I have to take comfort in, I'll hold on to it as tight as I possibly can!
I love you, I miss you, you are FOREVER in my heart, Daddy!

Easter...Grandparents...1/2way thru April

Oh...I feel as though time is just running past me and although I try hard to catch up, there is no catching the distance it has on me. Oh well... I'm not horribly worried about it. Again...how did I get so relaxed about certain things?

I am trying to figure out which elementary school Zoey will go to. You'd think the Board of Education would know this, but I'm still waiting on them to figure it out...it's a debate between them and the bus garage. I am hoping for a certain one, but really I am knowing that God will know what is best.

Allie is Allie. She's all ready to hit the preschool next school year, but that girl is such an outside I know this summer will be fun for her. She's now sleeping without the bed rail, which is a big deal for such a little girl!

This little guy is now 24 week along...he kicks and moves and I think he laughs at me when it hurts. I love him and can not wait to meet him. August/end of July can't get her soon enough. BUT, that means my firstborn will be leaving me ALL day EVERY day for kindergarten. SO... I am not trying to push time.

Skye is back on days...another adjustment. If anything, God is teaching me flexibility. Learning this will be key to fine tuning who HE wants me to be. It's almost been a year. How I have missed Daddy and all I feel he has missed here. Knowing he is in Heaven watching doesn't always give me a sense of comfort, but knowing that I will see him again does.

Pictures

This picture is of the "White Spot" on the heart. It's AMAZING how they can see the 4 chambers of the heart, and the "Focus".


I am just so giddy with love when I look at these pictures. It's amazing to me how awesome...totally AWESOME God is!
Yes, we checked, it is STILL a boy!

All is well!

I would have to say that My favorite Hymn ever is "It is well with my Soul". I have been listening to this song OVER and OVER again in the last 2 weeks. It's amazing to me how God gives us comfort, each in different ways.
We had our 20 week ultrasound on 10March. I was then told a few days later that all looked good. A couple days after that the doctor called saying that they found a "Spot" on the left ventricle of the heart and that they were not sure but wanted to get it checked out. Get "another" view. I was told to not "worry" that it's generally "Nothing". Ok...to ANY mom...those words are comfort, but NOT what you want to hear. I waited over the weekend for John Hopkins Memorial's Prenatal Clinic to call and set up an appointment. When they called I then found out that this "Spot" is called Echogenic Intracardic Focus. This "Focus" is NOT what I thought it was. See, I thought that they were telling me that there was something WRONG with Little One's heart. I then learned, via Wikipedia that this "Spot" is a Soft Marker for Downs Syndrome. There is NOTHING wrong with the function or development of the heart, but that some children who have downs syndrome have this marker. This being a reason for a further look. So... of we went to see the Genetic Counselor.
This older lady was SO compassionate, understanding, knowledgeable and answered ALL my questions. For all of you know ME, that's A LOT of questions! Basically they go through your family tree. Ask you about EVERYONE you are related to and what YOU know about their medical history. The wonderful fact that God has richly blessed all sides of our family has made my risk factor about 1/900. To me, that's a HUGE number. Between my Age, blood tests, and family history they are saying that if 900 women were in a room, with my risk factor, only 1 would have a baby with downs. 900 of course being a "guesstimate".
From there, we went into the ultrasound room. We met Jane. She is HIGH on my "Your Awesome" list! She explained EVERYTHING she was looking at! I MEAN EVERYTHING!!! Every hair to toe nail. It was an AMAZING experience. I believe God sent her, just because He knew I'd be wondering and too nervous to actually ask all I was thinking. I was SO more understanding as to what I was looking at and looking for. I understand shadows now, and I see the bones, it was SO cool to see the three vessels in the cord...that was NEAT! I was just talking to Skye...the bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:12 that: "And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." Did you know that the umbilical cord is made of 3 vessels? THAT IS AWESOME FOLKS!!!
Joshua Skye, our little man, has all the bones we "asked for". All are straight, the right size, and wonderfully made. All 10 fingers, and all 10 toes. He has ankles and knees and elbows and kidneys, and intestines, the brain is separated correctly and there are the correct vessels (Or whatever) there also. His spine is perfectly in tack and doesn't come out of his body like in spina-bifida. He doesn't have cleft pallet, or cleft lip, or club foot. He doesn't have any bone deformities, or abnormalities. He has eyes, ears, a cute nose. He even has a little tush and we saw him open and close his mouth. He's ornery and doesn't like being poked at. He would kick it away and move all around. Spinning so she couldn't get good pictures. He is amazing, and God is amazing for creating him. I about burst into tears thinking of how God has blessed our family. Especially considering He is an Awesome God and if it wasn't for His grace, we deserve nothing but Hell.
Ok...back to Josh. As far as the Doctor and the specialist can see, there is not 1 think wrong with him. He is about 1 pound 1 ounce and is in the 38% for growth. They seen no reason for concern and without saying it, I believe they have given us a clean bill of heath.
I believe in the Greatness of God. Greatness not always meaning that we get exactly what we want... but Greatness in that HE is always in control, always knows what is going on, and always knows how it will all end. I believe that even though I was scared that Josh might have downs, that God knew this, and knew that He believed in ME enough to take care of this special child. I know that what may have looked like a curse of having a "special needs" child could be so devastating, to God was proof that He believed in ME, and Knew that I would give MY heart and soul to ANY blessing He gave me. God knows Joshua, he knows all of his days of his life, and know every hair on his head. God knows I have prayed for Joshua for the last almost 2 years. I believe that No matter WHAT, Joshua is a Gift from God. I will accept this gift with ALL the joy in my heart because that is exactly what it is...a Gift. It didn't have to be given...but God is a God who gives! I...Am...Blessed!

Update

I have become more and more cautious about posting stuff on here because I keep getting random comments from strangers. So... I haven't posted a lot lately. But, it's time for an update so I thought I'd do just that!

1st off...we're moving...yet again. This house we are living in is a rental and they owners are coming back from overseas early so they will not renew the contract with us...we thought maybe we could stay and THEY could go rent a house, but that idea wasn't accepted. :) We have found another house that IF we stay in MD, we should be able to stay in for a few years. Sooo...that's good. I do like the house, it's wonderful, but the owner does not have a fence, so she is going to allow us to put one in at her expense. The time...is all we'll have to put in.

2nd-ly: Baby is growing well. I love feeling HIM move and kick around. It makes me smile and laugh...people probably think I'm crazy just randomly giggling...but I am SO happy to be pregnant and feel SO blessed that God allowed us to have another baby. I prayed for HIM for an entire year, never losing hope that we could have another child, just wondering when God's timing and My timing would cross. Oh how wonderful it is.
Few things I have experience with this baby that is different for me is extreme heartburn. I have been taking medicine daily and have the option to bump it up to 2 pills a day. I haven't needed to go that, until 2 days ago. I will see how tonight goes, maybe I won't have to take the second pill... :) Another thing is I am WAY more uncomfortable...maybe I'm getting older or my body is way out of shape. Seems like things are a little harder this time around. Even still, I Have very little problem with being woke up to a little poke or kick here and there. What a blessing that is, and to think that it's all because of Love!

Skye applied for a job in our home town and although we wanted the job desperately, it offered no benefit package. Since I'm 5month pregnant we thought that probably wasn't the smartest of ideas, so we declined the offer. How I wanted to go home. I feel as though my nieces and nephews will hardly even know us, or their cousins. I know if I went home today, Luke and Lucas would have NO idea who I was. This, totally bums me out. But I'm desperately grasping on the hope that ONE DAY the good Lord will send us home, or nearby, so we can know our family and our family can know us!

Zoey is riding in the St. Jude's Trike-a-thon at her school on Monday. She has worked to raise Money, knowing that SHE is not keeping the money but giving it to a hospital that will help little kiddos who are sick. She is super excited about it, and when I read her the emails people write she is just elated that they are helping HER help others! It's such a JOY and HONOR to teach your child that OTHERS are important and Matter and they need LOVE too. She's so loving and giving anyways. I will take pictures on Monday...should be So wonderful. She's raised enough money to win a TShirt so she can not wait to get/wear it

Allie-bo is growing like a skinny weed. She's hungry all the time, but hardly eats, and is FINALLY in 3T clothes, although MOST of them are way to big. The Length is what she needs but the extra fabric around is too much. Most shirts could be short dresses, but the sleeves fit perfect. Same with pants, I have to use the elastic thingy and pull them all the way tight, but the leg length is perfect. Oh well, she's healthy...that is for certain.

Skye is doing well. He job seems to have gotten on a schedule of flights so we have actually gotten 2 days off in a row 3 weeks in a row. This is such a blessing and we are totally focusing on the positives. He was supposed to deploy at the end of this year before the holidays, but things have changed and maybe...by the Grace of God alone...he might not have to deploy at all until middle of next year. I can manage a summer deployment, because we can go to Ohio and have help...but a winter deployment, with snow, school, and a new baby, I was NOT looking forward too. Another prayer of mine is to ONE day have Skye have a job w/o deployments...AT ALL!

This is us, in a very small nutshell. Thanks for reading...if you are someone who DOESN'T know us, you are not wanted here, please leave! :)

Precious Little Baby....

BOY! I have to admit, I wanted a boy badly, but nothing takes the place of hearing that it's healthy and all looks good. Our little boy will be born this summer and we can not be more happy about it.

I prayed for this little man for an entire year. I am thankful that the Lord heard my prayers and answered them. We are so excited...all of us...the girls included!

Bring the Rain...I think!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you know what you believe, now how you SHOULD respond, but yet the mere mortal in you wells up and you are just that...Human! So many times I think that as a Christian I should have unwavering faith and constant joy. I have to be honest, I am not that Christian.
I doubt...
I worry...
I get frustrated with God's timing...
I don't understand His plan...
So many things in the last 2+ years have truly brought me to my knees. I can NOT say that I have constantly enjoyed the last 2 years of my life. It's been HARD, Trying, and sometimes unbearable. One thing I will say, through it all, I have had Music.
God had spoke to me more through Music than I can say any other way. There are TWO songs that I have hung on to these years.
1. Through It All-Selah
2. Bring the Rain-Mercy Me
My wonderful husband was without a job for 11 months. That doesn't sound like much, but it was a very hard time.
My Daddy passed away almost a year ago. That...Was the HARDEST. I have never trudged through the mud like this experience.
My Little nephew Luke has cancer, and they will be starting chemo soon. I well up with tears thinking of this.

All in All...God is sovereign, He is Good, he is faithful. And in the end, there is ALWAYS something to praise Him for. Never...NEVER...will the storm change my faith. I am SO thankful that I have a foundation...on a solid rock.

Not Technically a Military Wife...but a Contractor's wife all the same!

I am stealing this from a friend who posted it on FB....But I liked it and wanted to share.

Military Wife

Lots of moving...

Moving...

Moving...

Moving far from home...

Moving two cars, three kids and one dog...all riding with HER of course.

Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house;

Moving curtains that won't fit;

Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.

Moving away from friends;

Moving toward new friends;

Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories.

Often waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting for housing.

Waiting for orders.

Waiting for deployments.

Waiting for phone calls.

Waiting for reunions.

Waiting for the new curtains to arrive.

Waiting for him to come home,

For dinner...AGAIN!

They call her 'Military Dependent', but she knows better:

She is fiercely In-Dependent.

She can balance a check book;

Handle the yard work;

Fix a noisy toilet;

Bury the family pet...

She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts.

She can file the taxes;

Sell a house;

Buy a car;

Or set up a move...

.....all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.

She reinvents her career with every PCS;

Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south.

And learns to call them all 'home'.

She MAKES them all home.

Military Wives are somewhat hasty...

They leap into:

Decorating,

Leadership,

Volunteering,

Career alternatives,

Churches,

And friendships.

They don't have 15 years to get to know people.

Their roots are short but flexible.

They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come

after them.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other:

They connect over coffee,

Rely on the spouse network,

Accept offers of friendship and favors.

Record addresses in pencil...

Military Wives have a common bond:

The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is

unique.

He doesn't have a 'JOB'

He has a 'MISSION' that he can't just decide to quit...

He's on-call for his country 24/7.

But for her, he's the most unreliable guy in town!

His language is foreign

TDY

PCS

EPR

SOS

ACC

BDU

ACU

BAR

CIB

TAD

ABU

And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.

She is the long- distance link to keep them informed;

The glue that holds them together.

A Military Wife has her moments:

She wants to wring his neck;

Dye his uniform pink;

Refuse to move to Siberia;

But she pulls herself together.

Give her a few days,

A travel brochure,

A long hot bath,

A pledge to the flag,

A wedding picture,

And she goes.

She packs.

She moves.

She follows.

Why?

What for?

How come?

You may think it is because she has lost her mind.

But actually it is because she has lost her heart.

It was stolen from her by a man,

Who puts duty first,

Who longs to deploy,

Who salutes the flag,

And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her

Military Husband,

She will remain his Military Wife.

And would have it no other way.

--Author Unknown

In 24 hours...

Life can change. Like the saying goes..."In the Blink of an Eye" my precious nephew went from whole, to not. Luke, my 7month old nephew, was diagnosed with Retinoblastoma yesterday. It was so bad that they had to remove the eye and he will eventually have a prosthesis. This is a very aggressive cancer tumor in the eye effecting children typically from 1-5, but Luke was an exception I guess. Please check your kiddos eyes. This might save their vision, or their life.

Retinoblastoma Eye Tumor

Reading...REALLY?

Are we THAT old that we can READ and ENTIRE book ALL by ourself?? With tears in my eyes, I say YES! My wonderfully intelligent daughter (not bragging at all) read her first book tonight! She read it without Skye or I telling her ANY words. She sounded them ALL out by HERSELF! I am SO very proud of her! (daddy is too!)

Sunrise

This base is the first we've lived at that is near any type of water. Being that it's a Navy base, we live right near the Chesapeake Bay and the base is at the corner of the Patuxent River and the Bay. That being said... I Love living near the water. So far, geographically speaking, Maryland is my favorite place to live. Skye has to drive on the road that goes right by the bay and catches some of the coolest pictures...he always names then..."Good Morning, God" or something along those lines and I just love how he sees the picture. I wish I was there to take them with my nice camera, but the fact that he Stops what he's doing to get the picture means the world to me!! Here the one he took today...it's breath-taking!

Bed Head...at it's finest!

While sitting with Allie at the breakfast table this morning I noticed her wonderful hairdo! It's too funny how crazy her hair can be! I was sitting there just watching her eat, and I was amazed. This little person, who once was never here, is now feeding herself. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant again and I see how helpless this baby is going to be, and look at my existing baby and see how much she is NOT a baby. It's an amazing process, watching them grow and seeing them become a little person and not a baby anymore.
The only thing I can come up with is that... I AM BLESSED.

Statue

If you know my Allie, you know she is a character. I honestly think God gave me her just to give me a huge laugh every single day. She is a hoot...how never sits still, always keeps me on my toes, but is quite the loving little girl.
Allie's new thing today...being a statue. She's crazy, all over the place and then STOPS...says "wanna see a statue?" and then FREEZES!! About 1 1/2 seconds later (because that is all the longer she can stay put) she will start all over again...be crazy, STOP and then say: "Wanna see a statue?" and then FREEZE! It's hysterical, mostly because I KNOW how hard it is for her to be still in the short moment, and because I know how this game works...the harder I laugh, the longer she does it.
What a blessing these kiddos are in our lives. They truly are a give from God, and I am so honored to have these fine angels in my care!

345 days

I was thinking today, that we've lived here in Maryland for almost a year. Then I was thinking...that means that it's been almost 1 year since I've seen my Daddy. It's been 345 days since I saw him smile at me. 345 days since I kissed him Goodbye. 345 days since I hugged him and felt his arms around me.
So much has happened in this 345 days. One thing hasn't changed...just how much my heart aches that HE is not here anymore. I am assuming that one day, someday, it won't feel like somone's kicked me in the chest. I am assuming that one day the memories will quit flooding and the tears will only come when we laugh so hard about the great memories we have. I am assuming that only by the Grace of our Dear Sweet Lord, I will get to hug him...again.
Come Sweet Jesus, Come!

Moving...AGAIN????

Unfortunately we got a phone call this week that we have to move out of our house because the original owners are coming back a year EARLY from overseas!!
So...back to square one, and yet again we have to move. I want to cry...so bummed!

SO what does it matter...

My heart is really trying this year to apply situations, things said, obsticles to the thought...so what will it matter in the end.
So...in the wake of trying to apply this very hard task to my daily, hourly life...this is what I wanted to show you. It's a drawling that Zoey made. She did it ALL by herself. It doesn't matter that it's missing a finger, it doesn't matter that it's not filled in correctly, or that it's all crazy colors. This is what matters...that when SHE looks at it, she's SO proud of herself because...She hardly went outside the lines...and to HER...that is what is important.
She did this alone, without my help, and I think...it is a treasure!

God's Opinion

I read that:
"A baby is God's Opinion that Life should go on!"

I will be choosing to believe that because God has blessed us with another little one. We had our 1st doctor appointment today and an ultrasound to check and make sure all was well. In my opinion, NO MATTER HOW many times you see an ultrasound, it's ALWAYS awesome to see the heartbeat!!

God is alive, and alive in us. HE is blessing us... through the life of this new little one...coming 2Aug2010.